1. |
||||
|
i cant wait for the rocks to crush us all
i cant see anyone survive their call
My only absolute is that you’re gone
It’s my fault for ever writing that stupid song.
this trash is what we made and what they saw
i'll stop my rumors if you break my jaw
imagine us displayed for all to see
it's only a matter of time before they'll turn their heads to me
where will you be the day we graduate?
18 and still you're a liar.
there's nothing left to look forward to.
you might as well
set your diploma on fire.
(set your goals up a bit higher)
Don't wait up.
|
||||
2. |
Flippin' Birds
03:16
|
|||
|
i'm rock and roll.
and i am your classroom.
i am fiction.
and i am the truth.
I am the most important thing
Oh no. You are nothing
Am I dying?
I’m sorry dear. You’re already dead.
I have decided
We are relying on
Something real
But I am gone forever
So I am relying on you
So please destroy in my head any preconceived belief that
These pipedreams are coming true. Wash my hands of this meaningless pursuit.
I only did it for you
It’s not your decision
I only did it for you
It’s not your choice
I am seeing that
I’ve wasted my years
My life has become
My greatest of fears
And with all I know
I know that I’m wrong
And my chances are spent
And everything that I thought I was is gone
After everything is said and done I’m right where you want me
And Fuck You for thinking I am grateful for what you’ve done for me
If this is how you want me to explode off the stage and out of the spotlight
Then don’t think I won’t throw a fit and wish you died to resurrect my life
I hate you
|
||||
3. |
||||
|
I have a date with solitaire,
solitary confinement,
and putrid air.
I'll be thinking if your thinking of me cuz
i'm not there.
Don't choke on the dinner.
Be sure to place the napkin on your thighs.
And the flowers are pink and blossoming,
Like near your napkin when you look into his eyes.
If I could eat your words, I’d never go hungry
I’d never have anything to complain about
But I don’t listen. I just take up all your time
I'll be in bed by nine.
A stomach filled with this unshared wine.
I know for sure you don't care.
His hands are warm as he runs them through your hair.
I'm tired of dusting the dirt off my shoulder.
It just returns quicker and i feel so much older.
But with age comes wisdom.
I must be the smartest guy in the world
I am the smartest guy in the world
so why do i feel so dumb?
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
1
I miss a lot of people.
I miss the ones I never met.
I miss the time period.
But the time is now and I’m not dealing well with it.
2
I am a jealous person.
I wish the best for everyone.
But I secretly mean myself.
I feel I deserve the fame so I’m not jealous anymore.
3
Do you get off on this?
Do I turn you on?
I’m done pleasing you.
Enjoy the sting you feel after you fucked me for the last time.
4
I’m so into you.
You’re so into me.
Let’s ignore each other.
Pretend that we never met, because I guess it’s easier.
5
You’re not the life for me.
The other one is slipping away.
I won’t make it back in time.
I’m turning into the epitome of “I-wish-I-had’s”
6
I wish I hadn’t done this
I should have kept to myself
When the blood flows incorrectly
It makes me want things that I never would want right after I’ve had them
7
Everyone is losing their minds
And this is all just a scheme
To see what I will do next
And every breath I take is like as if it just might be my last
8
We’re all getting older.
We’re all getting wiser.
No matter what happens
I will be there for you. I will be there for you.
|
||||
5. |
Rachael Leigh Cook
03:39
|
|||
|
Please tell me that you’re thinking of me when you’re fucking him…
Cuz I’m thinking of you when I’m fucking miserable.
Now I have made a revelation. For every time I win you back in my mind, I push myself from the truth. But I will continue to lie to myself. The masochist that I am.
No I will never ever make this end
You need to laugh at how insane I’ve been.
When it’s eventually said and done
I’ll be the one to start it up again
Cuz this is everybody’s last resort
And I’m not really ready to abort
The mission. Cuz I’ve been wishin
That we could go back to the way that we once were
No I will never ever make this end
You need to laugh at how insane I’ve been
When it’s eventually said and done
I’ll be the one to start it up again.
No I will never ever make this end.
|
||||
6. |
||||
7. |
Laconia II
04:41
|
|||
|
Dear you,
I’m done writing letters. Not that you read them anymore.
As you’re chin is finally up and your back is supported
I salute you. You’ve won, my fellow struggler.
There is no better feeling than a curtain call
When you're the only one who is absorbing the cheers and adoration.
Rejoice!
I am your hero in this tragedy.
I appreciate the winters, for they allow me to appreciate the spring.
I recognize my evil, for it allows me to see the good in you.
But i am only human and what do humans do?
They live lives through love.
We make our best efforts to remain alive
Simply so we remain human.
You are my reason for being human.
i wonder if we ever had a moment together
Where we ever had a moment alone
Piecing together what it is we both desire
And becoming one.
---
I've hated you and i've loved you.
I've doubted you and I've trusted you.
I've been jealous and i've been thankful.
I’ve been critical and I’ve been grateful.
I’m a cure and I’m a virus.
I’m a prince and I’m a tyrant.
But now I’m nothing. Just a shell. Just an armor.
Shielding memories I refuse to gain and remember.
If this is all I have than I can assure you I’m a member
In a league of a downhearted all.
Why do I think that I can fix this downfall?
Cuz I believed
this was you
this was me
this was everything we’ve worked for
this was everything that’s free
We want each other to be happy
But that would make both of us sad.
You didn’t notice at the time
But I’m the best you ever had.
So I stand up atop my mountain and cry out
With my heart in my hands, I punch the clouds and I shout
“I am Done! I am Through! I’ve done every thing that I could fucking do!”
There’s absolutely nothing left for me to lose.
---
I’m not a liar but I’m lying right now.
Don’t hit below the belt while I am tapped out.
|
||||
8. |
||||
|
The fireworks on either side of me as I am driving all alone
Are quite distracting and act like an accent. They only exist when I am far from home
Finally I made it out
Finally I made it out
You almost fucked my chance of ending it all
Why are you still in my dreams?
Why are you still in my dreams?
I fucking thought that I had let you go
Here is the end of the last discussion that we ever had
I’m frozen – statuesque but broken. And these thoughts and dreams are bad.
i've been defiled so many times.
so i defile all the things that file me.
and finally, my way is to have everything
i've ever played be thrown, not filed, away.
I want everything I’ve ever played to be erased from my memory.
I don’t care what you make of me.
It’s over anyway
You only used me for the flame I’ve made
Now throw my shell away
And it’s sheets that cover the scene.
There are covers that block all the things to be seen.
My eyes are denied what they see in my dreams
We never wanted to make this a show
It wasn’t really for anyone else to know
Honestly I don’t give a shit about the fans.
The ones who think that they are bigger than the band.
|
||||
9. |
Converse
05:05
|
|||
|
There’s a drawer in my room and in that drawer there’s a box. It’s red and blue.
In this box there are secrets which I never revealed but are all about you.
If you knew why I built it for you then I encourage you to fill me in
The only thing that I know for sure is it shows how I will end before I begin
to tell you
tell you
I always wish that we could communicate sane conversations
So I can burn this box and forget about our tribulations.
This is the only method I have to control my actions.
Without it, I won’t remember anything and that can’t happen.
I have our stories and they glorify me to my friends but to me they only horrify me
Cuz the pain and the stress only left a mess cuz I know im that I am the best compared to the rest. You left a mark on my chest. Let’s
Dance! No fans - you’re gonna sweat in your pants. I only asked for a chance to romance. I don’t know the game - it always ends the same cuz I got nothing left in my hands.
Just let me finish my booze. I’m fucking sick of the rules. I bitch. No matter what I do I fucking lose lose lose.
So let me tell you.
I always wish that we could communicate sane conversations
So I can burn this box and forget about our tribulations.
This is the only method I have to control my actions.
Without it, I won’t remember anything and that can’t happen.
These are my
These are my memories
These are my
These are my memories of
You
I always wish that we could communicate sane conversations
So I can burn this box and forget about our tribulations.
This is the only method I have to control my actions.
Without it, I won’t remember anything and that can’t happen.
(x2)
|
||||
10. |
I Just Got My 3000th Hit
02:20
|
|||
|
People just aren’t so accepting
You’d think the slate was cleaned for you
But there’s
Residue
There’s residue
I’m so old now. I’ve aged about 30 years
But you still look the same and I still see you the way you looked
30 years ago.
I will make you ugly
So I don’t feel so ashamed of what I’ve become
I don’t think I’ve said all that I’ve wanted to say
But there’s just not enough words on the earth that
Mean what I’m feelin
So help me gather my thoughts
I don’t want to waste good ideas through poor vocalization
Riley is dead. This relationship’s dead.
I retire
|
||||
11. |
||||
|
I - Would like to think positively.
I - Would like to inspire.
I - Am making a statement because
This - Is the life I desire.
We - Are lifeless against the times
Life - Is unforgiving.
Why - Do we only think we’re alive during the
Times - When we are winning?
Good is only better when the bad is there to balance it out (x4)
I’m - Not miserable all the time
I’ve been told - My laugh is contagious
Here - I’m just making sure that
I get the last laugh. Burning the rivalry.
Please - Don’t skip to the next track
Please - Don’t give this CD back
I. Wrote.- All these songs for you.
And I’m counting on your feedback.
But I know this brick wall won’t respond (x4)
I’m doing what I should be doing for the rest of my life.
We’ll see where it takes me. Let’s hope that it takes me somewhere.
If it’s a wash then the last hook that I will ever write will
Be the one that is hanging up the towel I’ve just thrown.
|
||||
Retire the Side East Providence, Rhode Island
Nick Mendillo is a solo musician who's been farting around in his "studio" since 2003. He is from East Providence, RI.
If you like Retire the Side, you may also like:
featured on Bandcamp Radio May 14, 2021
go to album
featured on Bandcamp Radio Aug 4, 2023
go to album
Tokyo band contrast black metal's brutal complexity with shoegaze's abyssal grandeur, resulting in an LP that feels crushing, yet infinite.
go to album
The San Francisco quartet’s latest effort takes their post-metal to atmospheric new heights, with a resultant sound bordering on the transdimensional.
go to album
Chronicle: Prologue
by Mountain Caller
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jul 9, 2021
go to album
Chronicle I: The Truthseeker
by Mountain Caller
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jul 9, 2021
go to album
The Taste of Teeth
by To The Teeth
featured on Bandcamp Radio Oct 14, 2022
go to album
